Java Chiller

Now this is something I KNOW to be fact because I have experienced it first-hand.

In the south, we like our coffee strong. Chewable. The kind that "Puts hair on your chest". I've always been told, "If you can't stand a spoon up in it, add another scoop to the brew." That is an overstatement of course... I suppose.... well, maybe.

Picture it - Eeeearly in the morning, landing at a Chicago airport and the sun is barely up.  Been up since well before dawn and slept through most of the flight, so I missed the beverages. I knew it would be a long day and needed to gear up with morning go-go nectar.  So I rush to the hotel to primp and prepare a little before the chaos was scheduled to begin and make a room service call for coffee (No machine in this room, where the heck am I?). A few minutes later, they come in with my brown water.

Ok, so that place definitely wasn't going on my list of 'places to get a cuppa', but oh well, next stop. Cabby runs me through McDonalds - they usually have drinkable coffee. *sip sip* Hmmm, more brown water. Maybe a new crew member made it... I'll wait. Now, I am an addict and I can admit that. I typically don't wake up without coffee unless I'm really excited to be where I am, and while excited, at this point I was too caffeine depraved to even remember why I was there.

So I get to my meeting. Oh PRAZELUJAH! They've got coffee. Yep, brown water. OY! Forget it! Longest day ever.

Next we go into Indiana and then a separate trip to Ohio.... all repeats of my Chicago misadventures. More trips this past year to New York, Vermont... the same. What?

Not long after that, a new member joins our team, Mike. Mike is a great guy, originating north of the Mason Dixon line. We never had his kind in our neck of the woods before, so this was certainly an experience. FIRST THING we noticed is that he made brown water. SO we had little secrets.(Mike, if you read this, you know I love you and we've already confessed to doing this.) I was in the front office and if anyone in the back offices saw Mike headed towards the front, my phone would buzz to let me know that I was to run to the coffee pot to try to start a new pot BEFORE he got there. We were meanies, but coffee is a serious thing in the south especially in our office. 6 of us would go through 2 large canisters of the most intense Folgers we could buy every month. It took several months of his watering down his cups of coffee that I made before he started slowly learning to chew the real stuff. Now he doesn't like it weak. I knew he was good people.

Mike told me, it was because he was from the north.

Do all northerners drink their coffee weak? No!  Is it wrong to make weak coffee? YES! It's against the rules!

Ok, no, it's not wrong... to each his own, but this is certainly a notable difference between the north and the south. We still love ya'll.


Proper southern coffee:
6 -7 standard canister scoops - heaping to 10 cups of water

Served piping hot and black as midnight. It should at least stick to the sides of the mug a little when you swish it around. Mmmmm yummy.

My thoughts: People in the north are generally healthier than us southern fried styles. While we NEED the coffee to get going in the mornings, northerners simply run outside for a quick hike in the mountains through 50 ft of snow both ways. I'll drink to you!